One of the pitfalls in communication and conflict is criticism or blame. Learn to focus on the need instead of the criticism. Instead of saying, “You never help me with the house work house,” learn to state what you do need by saying, “Can we work together to clean the house, I would really appreciate some help.” Avoid using statements like “You never…” or “You always…” The goal is to remain positive in conflict by listening to your partner without criticizing, becoming defensive, shutting down, or acting superior. Learn to handle conflict with mutual respect, humor, interest, openness while acknowledging your partner’s ideas and feelings.
I don’t why, but I mostly lean towards being defensive when we have a discussion. I have learned through listening to you in the past about not saying “always” you never” etc. Because nothing in life is that way.
Its still a struggle, but at least 1 that I recognize.
We are all working on learning how to pause and question our perception before we question or spouse – thanks