Quick tip – you don’t need to agree with your spouse in order to understand them or to validate their feelings.
You may not always agree, but you have to try understand the intended meaning of their words and heart. Take the time to understand what they are feeling and thinking. This means time spent talking and asking questions before you defend your view. The journey of understanding your mate is vital to staying connected to each other. Take the time and effort to grasp what is important in their heart. If it means enough for them to argue or disagree with you, then it should mean enough for you to try to understand them. You may not agree but you can emphatically understand.
I have a hard time with this. I’m not sure why, mane form my father, but I tend to always get defensive instead of listening. Im better than I was 24 years ago when we got married, but it’s still a challenge. If we could somehow shut our tongues down while we listen it would be a great thing. But then that is the most powerful muscle in the body isn’t it?
That should read…”Maybe from my father”. Where is spell checker when you need it! Ha
Hey Jon – Thanks
I do think men have a harder time with this. We interpret their reaction as rejection instead of trying to understand. thanks
Yeah, I can agree with that feeling. Also maybe disappointment in ourselves as men too.
Men struggle with the lie that they don’t measure up. This is the the filter that gets stuck when we hear or interpret things as negative.